In Every Happy Moment

In every happy moment,

I sense a sadness — arriving,

The higher the tree,

The lower the roots,

The more melodious the music,

The more the silent notes,

The more we crave love,

The more lonely we feel

The more we seek peace, quiet, inner joy

We impregnate chaos, noise and inner turmoil

One cannot exist without the other

The more we build up the need for one, so does the “other” grow

So we stop seeking, stop asking, stop wanting

We don’t accept or surrender, no purpose or playfulness,

There’s no word for it, and I can’t point directly in the direction

It disappears when I look at it

All I ever got was a glimpse, a goosebump from Nature,

I wait, for the muddy waters to clear

The ripples from stones thrown by my teachers, friends, parents, and strangers

My virginity and blasphemy

I wait, for the muddy waters to settle

The ripples that reveal the stillness on water

A glimpse of ‘I’ reflection

Happy and sad, whole and incomplete,

Self and non-self,

Here and everywhere